Getting Over That Quarter Life Crisis


The 'Crisis'
Kyle and I have been hit in the face with reality: understanding that life ain't no joy ride, it takes all that blood sweat and tears to make something of yourself and maybe it just doesn't turn out how you want it to. We're in that life rut trying to identify what we really want to achieve in life. I feel like it's a bit of a choice: career or travel. I've been this really proud person who used to think your job title is what defines you and I without that managerial title I'm a failure. No. I've made some career mistakes and realised that sometimes you just have to start from the bottom to make it to the top. 

Since moving from Newcastle and giving up a hell of a lot, I've struggled with the direction I want my life to take. I still have no idea what I want to do in the long term because I haven't lived through all that much yet. I was still living in a naive bubble that work somewhat comes to you, but I couldn't be more wrong. Even with experience, it just doesn't seem to be enough for employers as there's always going to be someone better than you. I want to call bullshit on people who say not to compare yourself to others - if you don't look at your competition, how else can you improve yourself? You need that edge. I've been unemployed for a year now (not helped because I've had huge back issues) and it's getting to me. My CV isn't strong enough to take such time away. I hate feeling as though I have no purpose. 

Maybe I just need to accept that I might have to start over and do what I need to in order to gain the experience required, and if that means waiting on tables whilst volunteering on the side for some marketing knowledge, then that's OK. The only person who really judges me, is me. I need to swallow my pride and crack on with it. 



The Solution
I've found that making goals one of the key things to try and get myself out of my little crisis - it gives me focus and something to really work for. What I know I want to do with my life is see the world and fully live a little. I don't want to to over think about the consequences - I've been super responsible and played it a bit safe, which means I've said no to a lot of things just because it was out of my comfort zone. It's time for me to stop that.

Kyle and I have developed a loose 2-3 year plan whereby we work our arses off, gain enough experience and money as possible to be able to take a long enough career break to see the world. I have this huge fear of turning 40 and when looking back at my youth, all I see is missed opportunities and regret. Instead, I just want to be that person with a thousand amazing photo albums and scrap books of all the experiences we gained. What would I prefer: a fancy arse job title or a life truly lived?

I recently started to learn German (Kyle already has a pretty good grip on it thankfully) and is helping to make that dream feel closer. Berlin looks like a dream city to live in one day, not for long term, but just because if we want to, we should be able to. I want so much more from life than working that 9-5 with 2.5 kids and owning a 3 bed semi outside a city. 

..................................................................

*And breathe*...Cutting through the waffle, what I'm trying to say is accept you and the situation you're in: evaluate your escape routes and dream big. It's ok to not be ok, to feel lost with money woes. I will admit I am very lucky in many ways, I have a very supportive boyfriend who puts up with my patheticness. I remind myself of that daily. The only thing you need to have is a sort of end goal, something to shoot for. If you have no destination, how do you know what route to take?

What's your opinion on careers vs. life? Are you struggling with it too? Let me know.

K.